Subway Trains Are Fun!

Wanna play a fun game that will pass time while you're on an MTA subway? It's called, "Get Me Off This Train!"
Count how many:
-People you see leaning against the doors, acting as "human doors"
-People hug the pole, rather than hold onto it
-Loud teenagers you hear cursing and over-using the "n" word
-Brain dead people stare at YOU
-Men are sitting with their legs wide apart, as though their balls are swollen
-People sneeze/cough, then hold the railing with the hand they just sneezed/coughed into
-Times your train stops without reason

NOW: total up your numbers once you get off the train. Add that number to your age. Divide the final number by 2. Then, on a calendar, count that many number of days (number of things from train listed above + your age divided by 2) from the day you do all this...and that will be your future, lucky day!